I am a labeler. I love a label. I like all kind of labels (colored labels, hello my name is label, large labels, labels like Flo’s tricked out label). I own 3 label machines. 3! Many people however hate labels. They worry about them, they worry about what other people will think if their children are labeled. They worry about how their children will be perceived. Well, you don’t have to; you just need to change your paradigm. You see many people see labels as a negative. Well, I don’t. To me it’s not a label, it’s a diagnosis, and a diagnosis simply helps you to understand yourself, and it helps others understand you too. Let’s take a child who has dyslexia. That child struggles with reading because his mind does not work the same way as ours. So for a child who is struggling with reading, he will constantly be comparing himself to his peers and wondering why he cannot perform the same task at the same rate. And do you know what that could lead to? Anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and low self-confidence. Same for a child who has ADHD. As a mother of a child with ADHD I remember constantly telling my daughter, “Stop bouncing, sit down, focus, focus, focus.” At first, I admit I thought she was being stubborn or defiant. After her diagnosis, I was able to understand it wasn’t her being defiant that made her bounce around the room like crazy, it was her little brain. Those neurotransmitters are bouncing from one neuron to another at a rate that even she couldn’t keep up with it, and sometimes they wouldn’t even make it to their destination. So she would start something and get distracted and then she was off doing something else; that is/was those neurotransmitters not making that connection, not making it to their final destination, and her not completing her task. After the initial diagnosis, I sat her down and explained it all to her, do you know what her response was to me? “Oh, so that’s why I have the party going on in my head.” I thought that was a brilliant way to explain it for a child with ADHD; it is like being at a New Year’s Eve Party. There is music and groups of people talking, and laughing, and noise makers, and a band. You have people serving food, and people dancing, and everything is loud; and you can’t keep your eyes from jumping from group to group to group and be distracted by everything going on, and wanting to move from group to group to group and talk and dance, and look at the decorations, etc. It’s a lot for a little one to take in. So a label diagnosis helps your child understand why their brain/body does what it does. The other thing it does is help others understand why they do the things they do.
Still worried about people putting a label on your child and how your child will be perceived? I get it, I’ve been there. I use to own a school for children with learning difference, everyone who knows me, knows my children and their diagnoses, so I remember being worried about the same thing. I remember having this exact conversation with my children’s godmother and her response to me was “Lei-Lei (that’s my family name, don’t laugh) if someone is not wanting to include you or your children based on their diagnoses and what they have gone through, then those are not the type of people you want to hang out with.” Truer words have never spoken. So educate those people, explain the difference between a “label” and a diagnosis, explain how it is to help your child understand themselves, and to help others understand them as well, and don’t let the word “label” stop you.
How is your brain doing? For many of us today, we aren’t doing well. We’re wearying down and it affects how we think, feel and function.
Here are some ongoing issues related to poor brain health: anger, anxiety, fear, insecurity, panic attacks, depression, insomnia and obesity. Also, stress is pounding away at our brains and literally damaging us.
There are many ways to improve our brain health. However, the first step is to determine if this may be the problem. Below you’ll find some information from Daniel Amen, M.D. This information may be your first step toward this awareness:
Based on strong scientific evidence, here are the 14 warning signs your brain is in trouble:
How do you think your brain is doing? If your brain is not healthy, you will not think, feel or function in healthy ways. If you are looking for more solutions, we have the team to help you at Fresh Start for the Mind.
Do you ever ask your teenager a question and you get the “eh..” response? What’s up with that? Is it defiance? Do they not want to share? Do they not know? Do they not have an opinion? No, it’s not any of those things. Let me explain something about communication and a teenager… at the end of the day when your child comes home from school and you say, “How was your day?” you will probably get, “eh.. I guess it was okay.” This is perfectly normal and there is a good reason for that response. During middle and high school, our children’s brains are taking in a lot of information along with trying to socialize, and learning to navigate their emotions, other people’s responses and emotions, and their schedules. The testosterone and hormones are moving up and down like a roller coaster and when your child gets asked the question, “How was your day?” in all honesty they’re not even sure. They are still processing the day and making sense of everything that happened throughout the day. So don’t take it personally. The best thing to do is to let them have their time, let them process their thoughts and their feelings. This is how we form our own thoughts and opinions, with peace and quiet and time. After school my children have down time where they decompress, by either reading quietly or resting. There is no television, no computer, and no phone. They will rest their eyes, their brain, and their emotions. Later at night, in their own time, their day will come out; they will share their experiences with me. And, being the note-taker that I am, I will write it all down in my notebook, documentation is everything to an educator. This gives them time to process the frustrations or the excitement of the day and to figure out why they feel and responded the way they did about each and every thing that had occurred. So if you get an “eh” after asking about your child’s day, just sit back and wait – give him or her some time. The answer will come.
Imagine if you will a relationship. Within the relationship, one party constantly berates, criticizes, and emotionally abuses the other. The “abuser” meticulously reminds “the abused” of past mistakes, shortcomings and weaknesses. Ask any logical individual and he or she would readily tell you that this is an unhealthy relationship and yet; several people are experiencing this type of relationship with the man or woman in the mirror everyday.
Self -love often starts with self-forgiveness.
It is difficult to embrace oneself while simultaneously rejecting oneself. Without forgiveness, we reject the other party by holding emotional grudges. In this scenario, an individual holds an emotional grudge against him/herself. The problem with emotional grudges is that they emotionally paralyze us.
Without being able to move forward, we are literally stuck in our pasts.
Many people try to form meaningful bonds with others and yet this becomes a fruitless effort when said individual does not first create an environment of self-love through forgiveness.
In order to form and nurture self-love through the process of forgiveness, individuals must be willing to
1. Love oneself “flaws and all,”
2. Acknowledge; yet not be defined by past mistakes, and lastly,
3. Be open to the freedom that self-forgiveness produces.
To be able to look at oneself and make a deliberate choice to be loving and kind despite imperfections is the most basic (yet often most difficult) step to self forgiveness. By realizing the uniqueness of imperfection, we give ourselves permission to be human. Once we accept that it is “okay” to have flaws and make mistakes, we then are ready to acknowledge lessons learned from past mistakes. Rather than viewing mistakes as problems to overcome, we start to see them as opportunities to learn and grow. Once we remove the weight of the pressure of un-forgiveness, we experience freedom. That freedom, ultimately leads us to the permission to love ourselves “on” and “with” purpose.
Dr. Kirsten Person-Ramey
This is the time of year we all make set goals to make changes in our lives. Sometimes the goals are big and bold, like trying to find a new job. Sometimes they are small, but still important, like promising yourself you will finally clean out that closet.
I have personal and professional goals for this coming year and one of them includes you! My goal is to write a bi-weekly blog about nutrition and lifestyle issues. I get asked a lot of questions when I am lecturing or spending time with friends and I know, from personal experience, the information out there can be VERY confusing, contradictory and controversial!
I want to help you sort through the information so that you can make healthy choices for yourself and your loved ones.
I need your help, too. If you have a specific question you’d like answered, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will find the answer and write the blog for you. I want this to be a dialogue and I want us to have some fun together.
Here are some of the topics I already have planned:
Which is better, butter or margarine?
What’s the difference between sea salt and table salt?
What’s a GMO?
You get the idea…
Today’s Nutrition Question:
Can soft drinks count towards my daily water intake?
When I talk about water, most people begin to glaze over a bit. Everyone knows they need to drink water, right?
But did you know these benefits?
Preventing Brain Damage
The brain is 85% water. Even a 1% decrease can cause the brain to not function properly
Hydration helps the body to manufacture serotonin a neurotransmitter that helps with mood regulation. Serotonin helps you feel calm and happy.
Helps with the manufacturing of melatonin which helps us fall asleep.
Lack of energy
Water helps manufacture electrical and magnetic energy giving us a boost.
A hydrated brain is energized and can imprint new information better.
Soft drinks on the other hand, do not have any nutritional value. Technically, since we are all different, some people could drink a soft drink and it might hydrate while others would be dehydrated from a soft drink.
Consider these facts:
If you drink a soft drink made with artificial sweeteners, you are drinking chemicals that change into other chemicals in your body. For many people, this causes health issues including headaches, muscle twitching or hormonal blips.
An 8 ounce can of soft drink has ten teaspoons worth of sugar which can be disastrous for your insulin-blood sugar cycle AND be a contributor to those stubborn pounds you can’t seem to get rid of.
Did you know the phosphorous in the soft drinks leaches calcium from your bones?
You decide: Choose to drink water, which is a chemical-free nutrient that your body recognizes and needs or choose to drink a soft drink that is a chemical soup and nutrient depleting.
Recipe for SPA water
Fill container with water (filtered if you’ve got it)
Slice cucumbers and lemons
Add to water and let soak for several or more hours.